You can’t keep me away from a good gyro.

I want them.

I need them.

And now, I can make them myself.

I stumbled across this recipe for crock pot gyros during a visit to Stephanie O’Dea’s website, A Year of Slow Cooking. I must say, this lady and her Crock Pot got it goin on. Say what you will about slow cookers. Some cooks love them (myself included), and some think that their recent comeback is like re-introducing Jello salad into haute cuisine.

Personally, I can’t imagine my life without my slow cooker. We’re in a relationship. And it’s serious.

So when I saw this recipe, I immediately trotted off to the grocery to pick up the ingredients so my Crock Pot and I could give it a shot (I tweaked the recipe a bit to suit my own personal taste, so bear in mind it’s not an exact replica of the original).

First, you’ll need:

A head of garlic, one lemon, and one yellow onion.

Ground lamb. About a pound of it. Stick it in a bowl so we can add some more junk to it.

Don’t be afraid of the lamb, my darlings. You can handle it just as you do any other red meat.

Ground turkey (or chicken, or pork, or beef–whatever tickles your tootsies). About a half pound. Dump it on into the bowl.

Add one teaspoon of paprika,

two teaspoons of oregano,

one teaspoon of salt (kosher, please),

and top it all off with a few turns of freshly ground black pepper.

Now’s the part when you have to get adventurous and trust me.

Dump the whole thing into the food processor.

I know, I know.

Pulse for a few minutes to get it all nice and combined.

Never thought you’d see raw meat in your Cuisinart, huh?

Me neither.

Grab your onion and hack it in half.

Peel and give it a rough dice. Nothin fancy–just a quick chop.

Grab about four cloves of garlic. Five if you’re ambitious. Ten if you’re certifiable.

Get ‘em smashed and nekkid.

Boy am I naughty.

Give those a rough chop too.

Now it’s time to get brave again.

Summon all of your culinary strength.

Grab the meat mixture out of the food processor and shape it into a sort of oblong ball/log shape. Football, maybe?

Toss the chopped garlic and onion into the bottom of the slow cooker and place the meat log on top.

Yes, I just said “meat log.”

Oh, boy I hope this recipe is worth it.

Grab that beauty of a lemon and hack it in half.

Squeeze both halves over the meat.

Make sure to squirt some lemon juice onto your camera. It’s good for it.

Put a lid on it and cook on low for 4 hours, or high for 2 hours.

Go twiddle your thumbs and wait for your house to fill with the delicious smell of cooking gyro meat.

Ta-da!

Carve it on up, baby.

Grab some fixins. I chose lettuce, tomato, cucumber, and feta cheese.

And, of course, a ton of Tzatziki sauce. Mad props (and much deliciousness) if you make your own.

Me? I unfortunately went with the store-bought kind. It was meh.

Don’t forget the pita bread. It’s mighty tasty warmed in the oven.

Now, built it, stack it, and get ready for some serious yum.

Does it get better than this?

I think not.

My, my, my.

If you love your family you will make these for them tonight.

Opa!

Happy cooking,

-RDG