February and March are birthday season around the RDG household. We began with Husband’s, then celebrated a bear turning the big 0-1, and last week it was my turn.

Because I grew up in the decade of Nintendo, Saved by the Bell, “Where’s the Beef?” and Hypercolor, we decided to celebrate by dressing, and acting, the part.

So we went to a bowling alley. A bowling alley that contains a roller rink. It’s in a part of town (well, non-town actually—a part of the outskirts) that contains an Applebee’s, if you catch my drift.

Maybe you didn’t. Let me clarify: it’s in a part of town in which I would be arrested for walking down the street (well, highway actually) dressed as I was dressed this particular evening. But for our purposes, it worked nicely.

What were our purposes? To don lots of acid-washed denim…

…bangles and sparkly hoops…

…rainbow zebra-print tights…

…and black heels with electric blue stripes. Think I got this stuff at Goodwill? Oh, I wish. I scoured the thrift shops. But when I ran an errand to the mall for something unrelated, I spied a bunch of neon in a teen store window. I purchased all this stuff brand spanking new in the mall. Granted, I didn’t pay a lot for it, but the 80′s are back in style to say the least. I feel a rant coming on in 3…2…1…

Of all the style decades that could have re-emerged, they chose the 80′s? Seriously? Don’t get me wrong. Soooo many things about the 80′s were right: mix tapes, Pretty in Pink, Corey Haim (*tear*), Rubik’s cubes. But the leggings? Neon? Hammer pants? Jellies? Granny boots? These are the things we need to resurrect?

Oh. My. Goodness. I sound like my mother.

I’m going to go wash my mouth out with soap and I’ll be right back.

Whew. That was a close one. Good thing I have this photo of my crimped hair to distract myself from the inevitability that I will one day become my mother. (Ma, I love you dearly. Nothing personal. It’s just something all daughters fear and must come to terms with. Please still babysit Lucy on Friday. Pretty please? One day she’ll fear she’s becoming me too, I swear.)

Ahem. Sorry, I’m back now.

What’s that you say? Do I have a scrunchie in my hair? Why, yes. Yes I do. And it’s neon? Why yes, yes it is. And I procured a hair crimper in the year 2010? Yup—at a beauty supply store that never even bothered to leave the 80′s at all. And using it, I was reminded why crimpers went out of style with the rest of the decade: they turn your hair into an afro. A large, blonde, unruly afro.

Embarrassing outfit and hair aside, we had a totally rad time. Turns out it was “teen night” at the roller rink, so we were surrounded by hoards of sweaty adolescents. It made for a true flashback to our middle school days, as well as gave me a healthy reminder as to why I don’t teach junior high English anymore. They may be able to skate circles around me and look cute in skinny jeans, but I can go to the bar and order a drink. Legally. Booyah.

And drink we did. That’s me on the left. I don’t dare give you a full body shot of what I was wearing under that acid-washed shirt. Let’s just say it involved the word “jumpsuit”. That is my lovely friend Nancy in the middle, maker of the infamously delicious Vietnamese Beef Stew, and there’s my gal Shannon on the right, who will kill me when she sees a picture of herself wearing a crepe paper headband on the internet. At some point one of us decided that in order to leave the bowling alley and venture to a bar, we needed not only to have shots, but also to rip down the streamers from the party room and tie them around our heads. Brills.

And where was husband all this time? Looking dang cute in his pastel-striped polo and skating his little booty off. When I’m going crazy with my girls he just smiles and laughs. And then just lets me keep going crazy. God I love that man.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. One thing I do know is that I got yelled at for taking a picture of a sorority girl’s crotch (I wasn’t really—she just thought I was), and she looked like she was ready to jump me. She may have had more girls with her, but I had the power of 1980′s crimped hair. And scrunchies. And that, my friends, trumps 2010 sorority girl any day of the week.

Have a bitchin’ Tuesday,

-RDG